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Emotionally Impaired
Feb. 1st, 2003 09:11 pm*shrug* Sorry. Had to use that header. The tragedy on the space program today was shocking, and I feel for all those affected. Wondered, in part too, about how fallout from the Columbia may affect the area over Texas. No one ever mentions on the radio / in the news where the fall out hits, if it's in residential areas, etc. However, that's moot.
What was significant to me was a voice-track I heard over the radio, of Rick Husband prior to departure stating that the risks were so worth the taking. In his last few seconds, I hope he still felt the same, and had hope left in him. More importantly, for all of the crew, I hope their demise came without any pain or delay.
I don't emotionally reel from this. Watching the newscast, seeing other people's reactions don't hit me. I have to wonder if I'm emotionally deficient, but then, being so means I don't care about that either. When the twin towers went down, I felt for the Americans in that it WAS a great tragedy and should never have happened, but at the same time, there was no pain on my soul or tug in my heart that reduced me to tears. I was cold logic. I feel sympathy in an odd way, and I can understand other's shock and horror, but I'm not caught up in it. I'm mentally using the knowledge of physics I do possess to rationalize WHAT happened, rather than feel horror.
I'm much the same way with my Grandmother, who I visited today. I feel for my Grandfather's agony as he witnesses her mental deterioration, but I'm just waiting for the 'end' to hit. I think it'll be better for him, her and my parents when it comes. I won't grieve though. Not in the weeping "vacant hole" way. It doesn't come naturally to me. Don't get me wrong, I love the woman, but I don't feel... blah. I can't explain. There's no tug, no emotional flood of feeling in me. No tight-throat, tight-chest, teary-eyed sensation.
Ah well. All the same, as deficient as I am, what happened today is a terrible loss for the Space Program, for the US, for the people of the US, for Israel, and the people of Israel. We look so much to the stars, and having our planet's gravitational force cause the destruction of our vehicle to it ... well. It sucks the bag.
To the families of the crew of Columbia, my condolensces. I greatly respect the crew for their committment, their goals and everything they have done. I regret their loss and hope that their families and friends find comfort in their memories of these great people.
What was significant to me was a voice-track I heard over the radio, of Rick Husband prior to departure stating that the risks were so worth the taking. In his last few seconds, I hope he still felt the same, and had hope left in him. More importantly, for all of the crew, I hope their demise came without any pain or delay.
I don't emotionally reel from this. Watching the newscast, seeing other people's reactions don't hit me. I have to wonder if I'm emotionally deficient, but then, being so means I don't care about that either. When the twin towers went down, I felt for the Americans in that it WAS a great tragedy and should never have happened, but at the same time, there was no pain on my soul or tug in my heart that reduced me to tears. I was cold logic. I feel sympathy in an odd way, and I can understand other's shock and horror, but I'm not caught up in it. I'm mentally using the knowledge of physics I do possess to rationalize WHAT happened, rather than feel horror.
I'm much the same way with my Grandmother, who I visited today. I feel for my Grandfather's agony as he witnesses her mental deterioration, but I'm just waiting for the 'end' to hit. I think it'll be better for him, her and my parents when it comes. I won't grieve though. Not in the weeping "vacant hole" way. It doesn't come naturally to me. Don't get me wrong, I love the woman, but I don't feel... blah. I can't explain. There's no tug, no emotional flood of feeling in me. No tight-throat, tight-chest, teary-eyed sensation.
Ah well. All the same, as deficient as I am, what happened today is a terrible loss for the Space Program, for the US, for the people of the US, for Israel, and the people of Israel. We look so much to the stars, and having our planet's gravitational force cause the destruction of our vehicle to it ... well. It sucks the bag.
To the families of the crew of Columbia, my condolensces. I greatly respect the crew for their committment, their goals and everything they have done. I regret their loss and hope that their families and friends find comfort in their memories of these great people.
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