Going on vacation is bloody expensive

When I turned my back on my family, last summer, to pay close attention to how the steaks were cooking on the grill, I was unaware of the devious planning the remaining members of my family went into.

A family vacation.

And, me, whose saying "No. We're not... I'm not moving back in with you -- love you, but no -- and I won't travel with Mom on a plane UNLESS it's for a wedding or a funeral."

Dad played the well administered, "I'd really like it if you kids joined us, though."

Foiled.

So, here I am, 13 days out of a trip to the Dominican Republic, and I'm tallying the hidden costs. The ones women are subject to.

a) New clothes for trip -- come on, you know you have to.
b) New lingerie to support the new clothes -- OUCH -- that was a very hefty penny!
c) New shoes to support the look of the new clothes, and good for a beach
d) Waxing
e) Hair
f) Luggage -- my old bags were beyond rigor mortis. Seriously. I was watching decomposition in front of my eyes.

God. I need to get on a plane so I stop spending.