Strange conversations I have with my dog

It's Hallowe'en. So, of course, my dog has lost his ever-loving mind. Presently, he's embracing his neurotic side. You now, the neurotic old-woman peering out the window to see what the neighbors are doing?

My windows have dog snot all over them.

However, that aside. He's presently curled up in the chair of window surveillance, chewing on his legs. So, without thinking, I simply sighed, and muttered. "Lucky - you are not chicken."

But, in retrospect, the alternate meaning of 'chicken' does apply. He's not the other-white-meat, is what I should have said. Because, he certainly IS a coward.